For those of us who have someone special in our lives, lucky doesn’t even begin to describe it. However, having a partner with you must not define your whole existence. Rather, this connection should be one that makes you happy, not transform you altogether.
It’s important to maintain your own life along with your joint one. Below are just a few reasons why one should not forget themselves in their love of someone else:
8. Your Own Activities
If you have your own hobby, it’s not always a given that your significant other would enjoy it too. At the same time, it is highly important to develop your interests. You could live writing, but not be able to share or receive writing tips from your partner. That’s all right. There are several other ways you can get your writing cap on. The only thing that matters is whether your partner supports and respects your dream or not.
Hobbies and activities are also what make a person interesting. It’s not just passing the time, but following your passion. This is inherently important no matter where you are in life. So pile up those books, book that webinar, and enjoy life to the fullest!
7. Having A Social Circle
Way too many people disappear on their friends and family when they find someone new. This is quite a problematic turn of events. These people have been with you much longer than your significant other. Of course, you have to give your partner time, but the same goes for the other people in your life.
In this day and age, we need a social circle in order to properly function. We need people to talk to if we have marital issues. That being said, it is also valuable to have an outsider’s stance on the subject of your personal problem. If you are comfortable sharing them, your issues might not seem that huge when viewed with an unclouded eye.
6. Meeting Your Desires
Every person has certain wishes and desires. It’s way too much to expect their partner to fulfill all of them. For instance, you may want to go hiking in the mountains. Your partner might genuinely not be able to do so. This could be due to work pressures at the moment or a legitimate medical problem. There is hence no issue in grabbing a friend and getting out there!
Expecting your partner to be at your side everywhere no matter what is not the way to go. Such expectations are frankly unrealistic. If you continue to hold on to them, you may soon see your relationship unraveling. Hence, make sure to look elsewhere for your fun quota sometimes.
You may even want to consider not unleashing all your emotional baggage on one person. Even out all your expectations and give some to your friends, family, and maybe co-workers. One poor partner’s shoulders can only absorb so much.
5. The Worst Case Scenario
In some cases, couples part ways. In fact, a marriage in the Western world is statistically just as likely to end in divorce as work out. This doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with either of you. You may just not be compatible. And if you make your partner your everything, the end of the relationship may break you.
Hence, keeping your own is the best way to protect yourself. Keep in mind that both of you are human. Making one person your whole life could leave you with nothing if and when they go away. Divorce is a reality, as are tragedies. If you find yourself alone again, would you be able to cope? That is the question we must all prepare for.
We don’t like to think about breaking up when we’re with someone. But the truth is that life is unpredictable. We need to be prepared for the eventuality that we would grow old and perhaps lose the one we love. When that happens, at any age, it could be devastating. This could have even more serious repercussions if you are unable to focus on anything other than your partner.
When you are not completely reliant on one person in every way, you have room to develop yourself. This is something every person should have in their lives. Regardless of our relationship status, each one of us should be free to pursue our interest and passions.
Staying in one place is rarely an option. It would only mean an eventual backsliding. No matter what your profession or pastime is, strive to become better in those. This can only happen when you stop looking at your partner for support, motivation and help all the time. Look within more, and see what magic you can come up with.
Each and every one of us needs some affirmation from their friends. This is especially true of women. With the world being the way it is, women usually face more harassment and discrimination. Even though it’s the twenty-first century, there are still huge concerns when it comes to safety and equality matters.
Hence, there are some matters that only a female would be able to understand. A male partner, in this case, would probably not be of much help. They may be willing and sincere supporters, but they usually cannot empathize with your problems. In fact, having issues with the male genre at the moment may lead you to insult him at times.
So in order to reserve your sanity and his, you need some female company around. This could be your school girl gang, female coworkers, or your mother, sister, etc. There are just some girl talks where men cannot make much of a contribution. It’s much healthier to let it all out elsewhere.
2. Staying Unique
When you pursue your separate life and interest, you also stay your own person. This would keep your partner interested in you; since you would be the same person hey fell for. Changing yourself to match their personality, character, likes and dislikes is probably going to make you both miserable eventually.
This is not to say that you shouldn’t consider a little compromise here and there. For instance, your career may be taking off at the moment. It’s excellent to achieve success, and no relationship should come in the way of that. However, some jobs may require you to live in separate countries for the long term.
If this is creating problems with your relationship, there’s no harm in opting out of the promotion. Of course, you may choose your career over your connection, but the other choice is equally your right.
1. Mental Health
Let’s face it; too much neediness is downright frightening. If you’re deeply in love with your spouse, your world may revolve around them. However, you need to pull back a little and realize that everyone is imperfect. Not only this, but you must also admit that relationships tend to rack over time. You would have fights and arguments. There’s no rulebook saying a couple has to be on the same page at all times.
Hence, it is absolutely essential for your mental health that you don’t make one person your everything. The songs may glorify this mindset, but it is downright unhealthy. You may offer them your support and seek theirs. The two of you may be making the journey together. However, walking with support can only go on for so long. Eventually, one person’s shoulders would tire. So have mercy on both of you and learn to live on your own too.